Introduction from Alana:
A few weeks ago, I had the chance to visit with Marv Fremerman, a Sport Psychology Consultant who works with both individuals and teams. He specializes in the building of self-esteem and helping athletes overcome self-limiting beliefs. I was fascinated to learn of his work and asked him to share some thoughts with the CLC Community so that we might apply these lessons to building our relationships. As I learn more about his theories, it is clear to me that we must visualize ourselves as successful relationship builders in order to truly build successful relationships. So, if we perceive ourselves as “Master Networkers,” suddenly we are. With that, I give you Marv Fremerman…
Guest Post from Marv Fremerman, Sport Psychology Consultant, Mind Over Sports
Children who are loved grow up to love themselves. And these are children who become great achievers in their lives. They have a high sense of self-worth which means they will be able to create positive events in their lives.
In 1986, while working with athletes and sports teams, I came up with a startling discovering: No matter how much an individual practices visualization, the process will be ineffective if he or she is encumbered with psychological baggage and unresolved issues. Later, this program evolved into what I now refer to as Psycho Self-Imagery.
The Psycho Self-Imagery process involves resolving conflict in your life, not suppressing feelings, having a high sense of self-worth (self-esteem), bringing personal issues to completion (or at least begin the process of bringing them to completion), being highly spiritual, helping others less fortunate than yourself and having your life in harmony. Then visualizing yourself being successful and actually creating positive events in your life.
But when you have conflict in your life, when you are suppressing your feelings, when you have personal issues that you haven’t brought to completion, when you have a low sense of self-worth (self-esteem), when you are not helping others less fortunate than yourself and when your life is in disharmony, you will create negative events in your life.
The secret to successful networking is to be completely happy and have your life in harmony.
According to Dr. Dean Ornish, Physician and president and founder of the nonprofit Preventive Medicine Research Institute:
“The Mystics say what happens in your mind creates what happens around you. ‘As you think, so you become.’ What you think about intensely is what you begin to manifest in your life. What you meditate on or visualize tends to become actualized.”
Most people are unaware that they have the power to create what happens to them in their lives. But in order for these events to be positive, they must possess a high sense of inner self (self-esteem) and their lives must be in harmony.
Based on my research, it turns out few people are aware of the dominant role self-esteem plays in achieving the results they want to achieve in their lives. People with high self-esteem are effective “visualizers” while those with low self-esteem are not. Individuals with high self-esteem are not encumbered with psychological baggage and unresolved issues because they confront their issues directly, while those with low self-esteem do not.
One of the main issues affecting how we feel about ourselves and preventing effective visualization, and probably the most common, is when we withhold our feelings and emotions. This “withholding” is a form of lying that demeans us and lowers our self-esteem. As our self-esteem sense is lowered we take fewer risks in interpersonal relationships, creating psychological baggage for ourselves that affects our ability to focus and process information.
Relatedly, precognition is knowing in advance when something is going to happen. But there’s a school of thought among consciousness physicists that maintains it isn’t so much anticipating what will happen but rather creating what actually does happen.
The following appeared in USA Today:
Based on the theory of quantum mechanics, many consciousness physicists believe we are able to create our own success through the process of visualization. In other words, our mind creates reality. An example might be a basketball player preparing to take a foul shot and imagining the ball going into the net. Sports psychologists call this ‘visualization,’ mentally practicing motions to get a desired result. Consciousness physicists suggest that our quantum hoopster isn’t envisioning reality, but is creating it as it happens, willing trillions of interactions of atoms in the hoop and ball to align so that a shot hits the basket. Or to put it another way: ‘Experimental evidence increasingly suggests the observer and the observed are tied together,’ says physicist Menas Kafatos of George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia.”
There is no such thing as luck, good or bad. We create what happens to us based on our own feelings of self-worth. The happier we are and the more our life is in harmony the more good things will happen to us in our lives.