Overcoming Hurt When Others Don’t Call

It can be hurtful when people we care about don’t take the initiative to keep in touch. It can make us feel like we’re not important to them, or that they don’t care about us. This can be especially difficult if we’ve been through a lot together, or if we thought we were close friends, colleagues, or collaborators.

It’s also important to remember that you can’t control other people’s actions. You can only control your own. If someone doesn’t keep in touch, it’s not your fault. You can choose to stay connected by reaching out to them, but you can’t force them to do the same.

My encouragement to you:  Rise above the hurt to stay connected!  Keep these notions in mind:

  • Don’t take it personally. Don’t take a lack of outreach from others as a reflection on you. Perhaps your contact simply lacks initiative and would be surprised to learn that their inability to correspond or make plans with you is hurtful.
  • Take the initiative.  Okay, okay… perhaps you are the one who always coordinates your get-togethers. It could be that you’ve shown your hand… that you’ve proven capable of organizing a terrific outing. They’ve come to rely on you and your efforts show that you care. When you take the initiative to keep in touch with someone, it indicates that you care about them and that you value the relationship. Relationships take work to maintain. Potentially, if you don’t keep in touch, the relationship will eventually fade away.
  • Do it for you.  Don’t keep in touch for others… keep in touch for you! If it makes you feel good, stay connected with people you care about. It will give you a sense of purpose, belonging and connection.
  • Stay positive. When you have strong relationships, it’s easier to stay positive and optimistic about life. It is totally fair to allow yourself to feel the hurt, acknowledge your feelings, and unbottle your emotions. That’s all healthy. Then, move on! Maintain your upbeat, optimistic disposition and I guarantee your people will always be delighted to hear from you.
  • Remember, it’s worth it. Even if it’s sometimes hard to reach out to people who don’t keep in touch, it’s worth it in the long run. Strong relationships are the stuff that happiness and success are built on!

If you’re feeling hurt because someone hasn’t been keeping in touch, don’t give up. Reach out to them and let them know that you care. If they’re a true friend, they’ll appreciate it and they’ll start to make more of an effort to keep in touch.  And, remember, you are not alone. Everyone experiences this at some point in their lives. The important thing is to not let it get you down. Keep reaching out to the people you care about, and eventually, they’ll start to reciprocate.

Thanks for keeping in touch.  Happy Networking!

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