There’s a moment in Erica Bauermeister’s novel, The School of Essential Ingredients, that captures something we’ve all experienced. In the book’s prologue, the main character, Lillian, describes how her cooking class students arrive on their first night:
“…walking through the kitchen door alone or in ad hoc groups of two or three that had met up on the walkway to the mostly darkened restaurant, holding the low, nervous conversations of strangers who will soon touch one another’s food. Once inside, some would clump together, making those first motions toward connection, while others would roam the kitchen, fingers stroking brass pots or picking up a glowing red pepper, like small children drawn to the low-hanging ornaments on a Christmas tree.”
Sound familiar? Whether it’s a professional conference, a networking mixer, or that industry event you’ve been putting off attending, we’ve all been those nervous strangers making awkward small talk in unfamiliar territory.
But here’s what I’ve learned after years of watching people navigate new professional spaces: the person who wins isn’t necessarily the smartest in the room or the one with the most impressive title. It’s the person who shows up with genuine enthusiasm—not the loud, look-at-me kind, but the quiet confidence that says, “I’m happy to be here, and I’m excited to meet you.”
- Dive in, even when it feels scary. That unfamiliarity you’re feeling? Everyone else feels it too. The difference is that some people let it paralyze them while others use it as fuel for curiosity. New situations stop feeling foreign the moment you engage with them.
- Say hello—seriously, just hello. It’s shocking how many accomplished professionals forget this basic human courtesy when they walk into a room full of strangers. You don’t need a brilliant opening line. “Hi, I’m [your name]” works every single time. Even if you’ve met before, reintroduce yourself. Memory is tricky, and grace is always appreciated.
- Embrace learning together. Ask questions. Laugh when something goes sideways. Share the experience instead of trying to dominate it. Those red peppers and brass pots that Bauermeister describes? They’re conversation starters, not just kitchen equipment. Every event has its own version of touchable, shareable moments.
The beautiful truth is that most people want to connect—they’re just waiting for someone else to make the first move. Be that someone. Show up curious, show up kind, and show up ready to learn something new.
Happy Networking!