I’ll be the first to admit it: I am guilty.
I show up. I really do. I make the reservation, accept the invitation, buy the ticket. And then, somewhere between the appetizer and the entree, between the opening remarks and the keynote, I reach for my phone. Not for anything urgent. Just… to check. To look something up that came up in conversation. To send a quick note before I forget. Before I know it, I’m somewhere else entirely, while the people I came to be with are sitting right in front of me.
Sound familiar?
We live in a world that makes distraction effortless. The pull of the phone is real, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. It’s designed to be irresistible. But here’s the thing I keep coming back to: Why do we go places if we’re just going to leave?
We cook a meal or choose a restaurant so we can share time with the people across the table. We register for lectures and workshops because we want to learn, to be moved, to be changed. We make plans because connection matters to us. And then we scroll.
So I’m making a few commitments. Not rules for you, just promises I’m making to myself, shared out loud in case they resonate.
- Before I sit down, I’ll set an intention. What do I hope to take away from this meal, this event, this conversation? Naming it, even silently, anchors me to the moment.
- I’ll leave my phone in my bag or pocket. Out of sight really is out of mind. If it’s on the table, I will look at it. So I won’t put it on the table.
- When I’m tempted to look something up, I’ll say, “I’ll find out later.” The answer will still be there. This moment may not be. (By the way, having a notebook and pen at the ready is a good way to document the information need or curiosity; it’ll remind you to look it up at another time.)
We don’t show up just to be somewhere. We show up to be with someone. I’m working on remembering that, one dinner, one conversation, one unpocketed phone at a time.
Happy Networking!