I keep coming back to Matt Haig’s The Midnight Library.
I wrote about it once before, focusing on the chess metaphor that runs through the story. But there’s another line that has been living rent-free in my head ever since. Once again, it comes from the wise Mrs. Elm, the librarian at the heart of the book, who says, “Never underestimate the big importance of small things.”
She’s right. And I think about it constantly in the context of relationships.
Because here’s what I’ve noticed over many years of talking with people about how they build and sustain connection: The moments that matter most are rarely the grand gestures. They’re almost never the formal introduction at the big conference or the perfectly worded LinkedIn message. More often, the moments that move people are tiny.
It’s the lunch invitation extended on a whim. The newspaper clipping you tear out (or screenshot) because you spotted your contact’s name and thought of them. The handwritten birthday note. The text you send when you hear someone’s going through a hard time. The quick email to say, “I thought of you today and wanted to reach out.” The introduction you make because you genuinely thought two people should know each other.
None of these things take very long. Most of them cost nothing. And yet they add up to something extraordinary over time. They accumulate into a relationship. They become the reason someone thinks of you when an opportunity arises, or picks up the phone when you need them, or shows up for you when you least expect it.
People remember. Not always the big things. They remember how you made them feel in the small moments.
This is the heart of relationship-building. Not strategy. Not tactics. Just consistent, genuine, human connection. A million little moments, strung together with care.
So here is my challenge to you this week: Identify one small thing you can do for someone in your network. Not a campaign. Not a LinkedIn post. One small thing. A message. An introduction. A note. A clipping.
Small things are rarely small. They just look that way from the outside.
Happy Networking!